Life is funny. It seems at times its all about lessons, learning life lessons. It goes with the old adage, "You live and you learn." It seems unfair that most of the time the learning is found in retrospect rather than in the preface or the process. By the time the lessons are learned, the moment has passed. At the end of it all we will have learned millions of lessons, mostly from the things we did wrong, with little time left to apply what we've learned. It seems harsh at times. Most people would say its the experience that matters, that experience is the best teacher. And though I know in my heart this is true it doesn't make the most difficult of "experiences" any easier.
Posted by A.J. at 8:28 PM
THis is the hardest job I have ever done! At the end of a week I am spent in every way possible. I have nothing left to give! I have realized just how tough it is to be a leader. Leadership is a reflection of who you are as a person. You are judged as a person based on how well you do your job as a leader. There is a lot of pressure wrapped up in that. It is a lonely job at times. I realized how great it is to simply be loved because of who you are. My roommate reminded me of this this weekend. It is so nice to be loved unconditionally simply for who you are and not because of what you do. This has not been a bad experience at all, just a difficult one. I am learning a lot. I miss Fort Worth and I miss my roommate!
Posted by A.J. at 2:44 PM
I miss my best friend. I have had a lot of friendship in my life, but I do not think I have ever been as grateful for one as I am for this one. I am blessed beyond belief to know her, to get to live with her and to call her friend. I learn a lot about life and God from our relationship. She is coming to Nashville in 2 days and I am THRILLED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Life is so much better with friendships!!!!
Posted by A.J. at 11:29 AM
I sat down at dinner tonight with this man and there was something sarile and familiar about him. I began to talk to him and his wife and soon realized what it was. They were a middle-aged couple maybe in their 50's. It hit me halfway through my dinner that this man reminded me of my Dad. They had so many similarities both in manerism and physcial appearance. He was a bigger guy with tan leathered-like skin. He had freckles and the same hair color as my Dad. He had a bald spot on the top of his head. The more I talked to this man the more it made me feel at home. In that moment I missed my Dad terribly. For the first time in a while I really MISSED him. I would give anything to be able to sit in front of my Dad and just talk to him. It is not a miss like, I haven't seen him in awhile and I would like to see him...it is a deep seeded, permanent miss. I saw that man later at worship and I could barely keep my tears down. he was sitting with his students in worship. It was a very sad moment for me.
Posted by A.J. at 8:13 PM
I am not sure I have ever been so tired in my life. This job is the most mentally, emotionally taxing job I have ever done. I am glad I am here most of the time, but some days I wonder why God decided this would be a good idea. At the end of the day (which is always way later than it should be) I really have NOTHING left and maybe that is the way it is supposed to be. I don't know.
Posted by A.J. at 3:41 PM