Marriage

My sister got married this weekend. It was one of those times that was so very serile for me. So many worlds collided in one weekend and I had trouble getting my head around what was happening. I am living in Fort Worth, but working at camp in Nashville, but I drove to Clemson where my whole family and many of my friends from college were waiting to watch my baby sister get married. It almost didn't seem real. I think it was good for me and I think in many ways God surfaced a lot of fears of mine and began to confront them right on the spot. I think I have this aversion towards marriage. I am terrified of it and yet on some level, in small moments desire it. When I dwell on the idea of it it makes me feel so uncomfortable and yet a part of me desires it. I have watched Lauren and Trey and seen the miracle He did in her life through that relationship. He used Trey to teach her that love was a good thing, that marriage (good marriage) was possible as well as proper. I have such a long way to go, so many fears to overcome and put aside. I do not want to wake up one day 10 years from now and realize how much I missed out on simply because I was fearful. That seems sad to me.
I love my sister and I am so happy for her and I only hope that one day I am as lucky as she!