You do not have to live long to realize that life can be incredibly difficult sometimes. This, in itself, should be enough to let people know that things are not how they should be. Some of these things that are difficult are simply out of our control; they are the repercussions of the fallen world. Everyone knows what these are like; death, destruction, sickness, poverty, pain. Other difficulties, though they are ultimately a repercussion of the fall, are brought about by our own stupid choices. These are the most frustrating. If things were not hard enough sometimes we make choices that add to our difficulties. This frustrates me about myself. And it is not like I am ignorant. I cannot claim I didn't know better. I have the Word of life in black and white in my hands. I know the good I ought to do and yet I still choose the other. And then, this is the comical part, I seem surprised when the consequence comes. I should not be surprised. I knew better.
I use to be a person of deep faith. I am not sure where I lost it. My desire, my will, my heart feel tired and unaffected by the things of God. I wish I could blame my circumstances, Its just where I am...Its a tough environment, but this is a cop out. Do i think circumstances effect you, of course, but can they be fingered for the blame? No. All things, good and bad, if our focus is in the right place from the outset, will point us to the cross. It is not the circumstances.
I have never been a person who disliked where I was. I have always gone and done, traveled and worked in different places and I have never disliked any experience; that is until now. In a little over a week this semester will be ending and I have a lot of friends who are graduating and if I was honest I wish I were one of them. I have one semester left, 4 classes, 7 months. I do not want to be chomping at the bit to move on. I want to make the most of where I am, to be all here, to experience what the Lord has for me in these next 7 months with joy and faith. I think I have slowly become someone I do not recognize and because of that I have been trying to "get back" to who I was, but I realize this is not what God wants. We can't go back. Every experience we have changes us. God wants us to move forward. There is somebody he wants us to be. There is somebody he wants me to be.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
About Me
- A.J.
- "He was in the world, and the world was made through Him and the world did not know Him. He came to His own, and they did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them he gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us." John 1:9-14
1 comments:
check this:
“We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that He has for us.” (11-12 the message)
Post a Comment