Son of David

Come closer, closer to me.
Find me broken, find me bleedin'
cause I need more now than a fairy tale,
a god who lives in a book.
I need someone real.

So would you come?
Would you come?
If i begged you, would you come closer to me now?

Come closer, closer to me.
Find me broken, find me on my knees,
cause I need more now than philosophy.
Some god in outer space doesn't mean anything to me.

So would you come?
Would you come?
If I begged you, would you come closer to me now?
Would you come?
Would you come?
If i begged you, would you come closer to me now?

Son of David, do not pass me by,
cause I am naked,
I'm poor and I'm blind.
Son of david, don't pass me by,
cause I am naked,
I'm poor and I'm blind.
by: John Mark McMillan
This is an amazing song.



A lot of really difficult things have happened in my life in the last two years. I would say it has been the hardest time in my life to date. Most of those things have happened within the confines of my family. I have spent a lot of time trying to understand it all, trying to get my head around everything, trying to sort out feelings and deal with pain and loss and the what to do in the aftermath question. Though all of the tragedy had ended some relationships and drastically changed others, some relationships have begun to breathe for the first time in a long time. We have a small extended family and we have never been close to any of them really. In the picture above is my uncle, aunt and cousins. My mom's brother's family and they have lived 45 minutes away from me my whole life. We saw them on holidays and special occasions, but rarely any other time. I think family things were just always stressful and nobody really wanted to be around our family very much. In the last two years my family has spent more time with them than in the 20 years prior. It has been a blessing. It has been one really positive thing that has come out of a slue of really hard things. Above is a picture at my cousin Becca's pageant. She is a senior and she got second runner-up. She was really excited. I don't know why I am writing this....I guess because I realize more and more that the Lord is always doing something and though some things are really hard, they do not come without the reminder that God is faithful.


For many of us, we hear the words of the Lord and fail to put them into action. We read and hear and pray and yet we do not know what it looks like to live these things out and make them our lives. Sometimes, we never even consider working the truths and commands of Jesus out in our everyday life; we just read to read. At times I have read the words of Jesus and wrestled with what they look like lived out in everyday life. What would it look like to love my neighbor as Christ has loved me? What would it look like to love my enemies? What would it look like to keep treasure in heaven and an open hand when it comes to all my earthly possesions?
Well I saw, with my own eyes the Scriptures jump off the page and into someone's actions recently. I was on my way home from work last week on a very cold day. There is always at least one homeless man standing in the median by the interstate. As I waited at the light I saw him from a distance and I watched as a man got out of his car in a nearby parking lot. He crossed the street and all of the traffic, walked up to the man and gave him his own sweatshirt. The homeless man quickly ran off to put on the coat.
The words of Jesus, "For I was naked, and you clothed Me. Truly I say to you, as you did this for one of the least of my brothers you did for Me." Matthew 25.36,40
What would Christian's look like to the world if we actually lived out the words of Jesus in our everyday life? Isn't that what Christian's are?...Christ followers, little Christs? Isn't this the point anyway?



Who knew that a small little mistake like backing into a car in a parking lot, and a small dent in the back of a car would be a 2,400 dollar mistake......YIKES!!!!!!! I will now begin maneuvering around in parking lots at the pace of a 90 year old handicapped woman (or man for that matter).



Yesterday I had an idiotic tragedy. I was pulling out of the parking lot on campus after my 8 am class when I ran into the back of another car. I heard the crunch and I thought, "Please Lord! let that not be a car or a person!" It was a car. No damage would have been done if it were not for my trailer hitch. There was quite a nice dent in the back of that man's newer looking accord. Lots of people saw it and most of them were staring at me as if they wanted to see what I would do and for a moment I thought, most people (or at least some people) would get in their car and drive away, leaving the people to front the bill. As I was writing the person a note with my info, the owner walked up. I was worried, but he was so nice. He asked where I was from and said, its just a car. I was so grateful for his kindness.
Now I am not saying I am the exception to this idea that people flee from owning up. I had that moment of fight or flight too. Why is it that we avoid owning up to our mistakes? We do not want to take responsibility for our stupidity, unintentional harm or planned rebellion. We are okay with getting what we want and having someone front the bill for it. We do not take responsibility for our actions (unless of course they had a positive result and those we readily take credit for) I have a student at my work who I catch doing things all the time and she has never once owned up to anything. She looks me in the face every time and lies about it. Now I am not one to spiritualize everything, but how true is that in our spiritual lives? We took what we wanted, we forsook all God gave us and Christ paid the bill in our place. Even after we believe in Christ and what he did for us, we still go after the things that we want under the banner of grace, "Christ has already paid for it."
If we so readily turn and run from the consequences of our mistakes, knowing someone else will have to take the deficit, when will we ever be able to follow the example of Christ and sacrificially "take someone else's place?" When will be willing to help someone else our of their mistakes? May we be people of integrity, clean inside and out, who readily admit our mistakes and own up to our mess.


Tim and John

I had the most amazing evangelistic conversation on Friday. My roommate and I were at a conference in Austin, TX and we had a three hour break so we went to the mall to walk around. We walked for about 10 minutes and then decided to leave. On our way out these two guys working at a T-mobile Kiosk called us over to ask us what our bracelets were for. We told them we were at a Christian woman's conference. That began a 30-40 minute conversation about Christianity and the gospel. Both guys claimed agnosticism, but spoke like antagonistic atheists. It was obvious that Tim was very angry towards Christianity. He was highly condescending, mean and mocking. He would laugh at the things we said and make fun of them. The other one, John would laugh at Tim's comments, but he softened during the conversation and was much more interested in asking us questions and really hearing the answers. Tim said, "I have never seen anything in this world to make me believe there is a God." John told us about growing up in Indonesia and seeing all the destruction and oppression that religion brought upon people. I did not seem to matter what we said they had an "argument" for everything, but in all of their arguing they said nothing that was really against Christianity. They both agreed that religion was a crutch for people who couldn't take responsibility for their lives. Tim quoted philosophy telling us that all we could know for sure was that we were thinking beings and how were we supposed to know if anything was real, we could just be in a matrix. They both said that they had control over their lives and that made their own decisions and that if they were wrong about Christianity and went to hell that at least they made their own decision.
We told them about Christ and the gospel. We shared with them our believes. As much as they would let us talk we discussed the fallacy in their arguments. They just wanted to bring up absurd ideas. They were so empty and so angry. As we were about to leave, Tim was making really negative comments like, "Run along children back to your religion." I said thanks for talking to us and he said, "Thanks for wasting our time." I felt myself getting angry at him, so I reached my hand out and asked them their names. My heart has been so heavy for those two guys and I have not been able to stop thinking about that conversation. They hoped to knock us off our feet, to dispel our belief, but Melanie and I both left emboldened with a greater belief than before, so thankful for our salvation. They have faith in randomness, in self, slaves to sin and the world, not realizing that they, in their attempt to have their own "freedom" are found slaves. We are always slave so something and it is either Christ or sin. They think they have freedom, but they don't. I pray that the Lord will envelop Tim and John and that they will one day get on their knees and lift their hands to Him! It was an amazing experience getting to talk with them, one we didn't go looking for. Pray! Pray for opportunities to share Christ, it is amazing what the Lord will do!


I saw a man get hit by a car today...at least I think he got hit by a car. I was on my way to work and I was approaching a major intersection. I looked up and saw something in the road that looked like trash bags. A truck was stopped right behind it and as I came up beside it I noticed it was a man. The man was lying there, with two trash bags filled with cans and other things. He was trying to get up and he couldn't. He had blood on his face. I stopped my car, but there were already several people out of theirs helping them. I got out to make sure.
In the background I heard my cd player with David Crowder singing, All the love in the world, is right here among us and hatred too...so We must choose what our hands will do. And surely we can change something...
It was a weird moment, not fully sure why. I feel the Lord moving in me, speaking to me, calling me away to Him. Thank you Lord


$399.00 and up

I saw a sign today that really disturbed me. It was one of those marquis signs for advertising and it was in front of a small law firm in Fort Worth. The sign simply said...
"DIVORCE... $399.00 and up!"
I drove past and all I could think is.....Is that really what it costs? Want a divorce?...We've got a deal for you, and its only going to cost you $399. It kind of made me sick. It costs more than we could ever imagine. It kills your soul, beats you down, destroys children, steals hope. But hey, we want out, we want out now and we want out at the lowest monetary cost possible without thought or care for the other prices we pay. I would say the price is a whole lot steeper than $399.