Growth

its been an interesting semester thus far. I have found myself nearly two months in wondering what I am doing here?....if I should be here?....what am I striving for?....Am I wasting my time? I think about Paul when he says that he doesn't beat the air aimlessly, he knew without a doubt what he wanted and what his goal was and all he did was for the purpose of that goal. Sometimes I feel like I'm beating the air, moving without thought or care, moving towards something all the while becoming nothing.
I met with the college pastor I work for this morning and I was voicing some of these things to him about my frustrations with seminary and wanting the degree, but feeling like I might be wasting my time and he said something that resonated with me. He said, "Well my reasons for going to seminary when I went were a little different. I didn't go to learn ministry, I went to grow in my faith and I got what I wanted and am all the better for it. He is a few hours shy of finishing his degree, but he has been doing ministry for a good while and he is changing lives. He is changing lives not because he went to seminary to prepare for ministry, but because he did what it took to grow in his salvation.
what if my mindset for all things in life was that....that no matter what I did it was a chance to grow in my faith. Examples: going places that make me uncomfortable, having challenging conversations. You know, even things you don't like to do. what if I approached my life that way? If I'm not getting something out of my current life its not the fault of my surroundings. Growth is not confined to circumstances, rather it is refined in circumstances.
Just some thoughts on my current place in life. There is more, so much more, but i have too much to do to share them now. Love to each of you!