2.13.2007

sorry for the furlow...

I do believe that this is the longest that I have gone without writing. It makes me sad to because I love this outlet. Sorry to any of you who might have thought I fell off the face of the earth, although I sometimes feel as if that is what has happend as well. It is intersting because I feel like the last two months I have spent so much time thinking and yet not thinking at all and having nothing to post on here. Maybe its all just jumbled. I have had a harder time transitioning back into this life than I thought I would. Don't get me wrong, I love my job with the church and I love my middle schoolers (most days) and I love the things I am learning, but it all seems so fragmented, so heavy. I was at the middle school yesterday teaching my class how to cook mini pizzas and while we were waiting on them to cook I listened as they talked about all kinds of things (mostly things they should know nothing of) and I caught my self staring with my mouth open with absolutely nothing to say. I felt burnt out in that moment and kind of hopeless in that job as a ministry.
I read this this morning: Solomon is finishing up Ecclesiastes. This is the summation of all that he has learned from denying himself nothing. He says this:
"But beyond these, my son, be warned: there is no end to the making of many books, and much study wearies the body. When all has been heard,the conclusion of the matter is: fear God and keep His commands, because this is for all humanity." Ecc. 12:12-13

That really is all I want out of life...all else seems sort of like chaff that will blow away, excess baggage to be thrown off.

3 comments:

Katie said...

I love that it says "the conclusion of the matter" -- basically -- this is it. This is what it boils down to. It seems so simple.

I did think you fell off the face of the earth, and have been meaning to call you, but I, like you, have been crazy busy with life.

I often find myself staring with my mouth open not knowing what to say as well. There seems to be so little "fear" or "keeping of commands" that it is scary...but more than not I don't seem to know where to even start. It can definitely be frustrating.

I love you, AJ. I've missed your writing - and I hope and pray that you are making a huge impact for the Kingdom, and that your 'heaviness' begins to dissipate.

I miss you in my life, but don't worry, I've eaten enough ice cream for the both of us. :-)

muah!

Mark "Sleeve" Smyers said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mark "Sleeve" Smyers said...

I love my AJ...I miss ya buddy.

I think you need to take a car ride with your old friend Sleeve and catch up on some life. Who and I kidding...I think everyone need to do stuff like that to recharge your heart and mind.

I'm praying for ya friend.