The Amsterdam airport/security process in full review:

1) When we landed we taxied so long I thought that maybe we landed in Germany and were slowly making our way over to Amsterdam. It was so much time that Amy was able to take another very good nap before we got to out jet way.
2) Starbucks in America is expensive, but Starbucks in Europe is robbery. The drinks are priced higher to where even if the dollar was on par with the Euro a latte would still cost more, but if you throw in the fact that the Euro is 1 and a half times stronger than the dollar, your already expensive Chai Tea Latte will cost you $7.50.
3) Do not worry about buying a drink you plan on taking on your next flight or filling up your water bottle, you will be required to dump out all liquids an innumerable amount of times.
4) Do not think that your ticket or the electronic screens are incorrect when they tell you your boarding time is an hour and a half or more before your scheduled departure time….it is not incorrect. It will take you every minute of that time to get through the rigorous security process, which I will explain below.
5) You arrive to your gate area to find all of the seats empty and a VERY long line. You promptly assume that this is the line for a flight leaving before yours (as any thinking person would, considering it is a very long time before your flight takes off). However, your assumption is incorrect and you find yourself at the back of this VERY long line, which you then promptly notice, is not moving.
6) Half a lifetime later, you find yourself at the front of the line on the other side of a roped off area of “interrogation podiums.” Before you are let through the rope area you are asked if you are traveling alone or with someone. If you are traveling with someone they two of you are given a pre-interrogation interrogation, including questions like; “How long have you known each other” and “Have you been with them your entire trip?”, to which I would love to respond, “Well there was this one time she went to the bathroom without me, does that count?”
7) Once that interrogation is over they let you through the rope, direct you to your podium and take your passport and boarding pass for the first “swipe in.”
8) Once they have allowed you some time to sweat it out at the podium, they join you and begin asking you another series of questions about your trip, your relationship and your luggage handling while in the airport. (Some sidebar commentary: I think this is an exercise in futility. If I am a terrorist of if I am carrying things that I should not be transporting on a plane I will likely not answer “yes” to questions like, “Have you accepted anything from anyone that was not yours?” or “Have you let your bag out of your sight?”
9) Once you sufficiently answer their questions and they believe you are not a threat to national security they put you in the next security line, where you will dump out your water, AGAIN, take off your jacket, shoes, belt, etc…empty your pockets, put your bags back through the xray machines, step through the “swivel around your body” X-ray machine and then get a pat down. All of this mind you, after getting straight of a plane from another country where you just did this whole routine. I mean, I can see the water fountain I filled my bottle up in from here, do I really need to dump it out….in the same fountain?
10) Once you and your bags have been thoroughly X-rayed, scanned, patted down and violated, you can then take your seat, wait there aren’t any, in the small gate area, but don’t get too cozy, because you only have 10 minutes before the plane boards, even though you arrived at your gate nearly 2 hours before now.
11) After you are rested from your 10 minutes of sitting you will join all of humanity in the small gate area and herd your way like cattle down the world’s longest jet way to the seat you will spend the next 10 hours of your life in. Happy day.
12) Don’t worry, if you are still nervous and feel like this process might still not have led to a safer America, you will repeat all of this in the Atlanta airport, including picking up your checked luggage and sending it, as well as yourself back through security and X-rays…..so that you can get in your car…….and drive to your house.