Blossoms of the present

Life has brought me to this place again where the fears of "tomorrow" are stacking up like newspapers at an abandoned house. I have finished Seminary and I am nearing the end of my journey here in Fort Worth; running out of excuses not to take the next step. Where do I go? What type of job do I get? I couldn't be more uncertain if someone set me down in an airport and told me to pick a destination. I do not really have a place to go "back to." I could go to South Carolina, Georgia, stay in Texas....anywhere really. And then when I get there what job do I look for? A church? A school? _____?

To complicate all of this, too often we believe that once we finally do get to this next place, or take this next step, then our life will really begin. We are always waiting, always looking to the future, or getting lost in the past. What will happen? Where will I be? Will I get married? Why did that happen or this not happen? I wish I could get back to there. I wish I hadn't have made that decision. And on and on we go and all the while Life, real life, is passing us by.

It seems as if everything I have read in the last month has focused on living in the present moment; Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning, Cold Tangerines by Shauna Neiquest, Divine Guidance by Dallas Willard. Each of these reminds the believer that life is experienced in the present. Brennan Manning says:

The music of what is happening can be heard only in the present moment. To be fully present is an act of radical trust that God can be encountered at no other time an din no other place than the present moment. It is through immersion in the ordinary-the apparently empty, trivial, and meaningless experiences of a routine day-that life is encountered and lived. Real life is not about words, concepts, and abstractions but about experience of who or what is immediately before us.

When Jesus said, "Do not worry about tomorrow" He was calling us to live in the moment. How easy it is for me to retreat into the past or worry about the next thing on my to do list and miss all the goodness in my immediate line of sight.
I was sitting in my backyard today eating lunch and watching my puppies play, and of course, thinking about my future...What job do I want? blah blah blah. And then it happened. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed something amazing-Blossoms on my tree. This tree that dumped 10 trash bags worth of leaves in my backyard two months ago had suddenly sprouted new life. I see this tree everyday, but I never REALLY SEE it. While I was busy taking the dogs out, heading to work, taking out the trash, running down my daily list, I had missed the life sprouting right outside my door. In this small moment of attentiveness in my backyard, God reminded me of His goodness, of His presence, of His desire to continuously bring new life from death. That moment, is more powerful than all the thoughts I will have today of past and future.