state lines and life lines

December and January are a blur. The last 2 months could be narrowed down to "traveling" and "transition." I have crossed oceans, country lines, state lines and life-stage lines. I spent December in Texas, Germany, Africa, South Carolina and Georgia. In the last 2 weeks I have been in every time zone in the United States in a car and crossed 10 state lines. I drove with my best friend and roommate to move her up to Oregon. We "tried" to see the Grand Canyon. (It was 0 visibility...REALLY you couldn't see ANYTHING, which was one of the saddest days of my life because it has been a life-long dream of mine that remains unfulfilled) We saw the Hoover Dam, Las Vegas (I will admit a played a slot machine but rather unsuccessfully), the California Coast on Hwy 1 (BEAUTIFUL), tons of sea lions, San Fransisco, more California Coast, Redwood National Forrest, Multnomah Falls, etc. This was an amazing road trip, a once in a lifetime opportunity with one of my favorite people in the world. The journey ended with her staying in Portland with a carload of her belongings to begin a new journey, a new stage in her life, leaving me to begin a new stage in mine. This moment was a shift in something that has been one of the most consistent parts of my life over the last 4 and half years-a crossing of a life line. It was a beautiful journey and yet a heartbreaking one, filled with joy and yet filled with sorrow. It was a lesson in enjoying the moment-by-moment journey and not focusing on the destination.

Trusting that God knows what He is doing when He has spoken and asked you to move, to leave behind what is comfortable and familiar, to embark on a new adventure with Him, is one of life's most difficult challenges. I pictured myself over and over again like a little kid being dragged by the arms, all the while I am leaning back and digging my heals into the ground hoping to delay the shift if not indefinately, then only for a moment.

I had been in Houston since the summer ended asking God to open a door for me to do ministry there at Houston's First Baptist. I love the city of Houston, the church, the people I had worked with and met adn I had loved my life there. I didn't want to leave, so I waited. I waited and waited and God moved me, but not in the direction I had thought and if I were honest, not in the direction that I wanted. So after months of agony, crying out to God, battling myself in my own head, I submitted to what I believed God was telling me-a move that on the surface, didn't make any sense. I am in Atlanta, GA. I am working in a new city, in a new time zone, for a new church, in a ministry I have no experience in and I have asked myself many times in the last 2 weeks, "What am I doing here?" And then I am reminded of all the times in Scripture where God asked people to do things that made perfect sense both to them and the world around them.......WAIT....THAT ISN"T IN THE BIBLE. There is not one single story in Scripture where God asked someone to do something that made sense (logical, worldly, rational sense).

So here I am in Atlanta, GA-In my first full-time job, with no idea what I am doing and what God is up to, begging Him to show up, which is probably exactly where He wants me to be.