hostile gospel

I am interested in your thoughts on this so please post comments...
"After we had previosly suffered and been outrageoiusly treated in Phillippi, as ou know, we were emobldened by our God to speak the gospel of God in spite of great opposition." ! Thess. 2:2

Within the gospel of God there seems to be an element that, almost naturally, stirs up opposition and disdain in the soul of man. Why? Man angrily rejects the truth that a free gift has been granted him if only he would take it. What is it in us that makes us that way? Is it pride? Think deeper. What is it that rises up in man when the gospel is given as the truth?

If a man began on a road trip with abosolutely no destination and at some point during his trip he realized he must have a goal. He must at some point decide where he wants to go. Would he then become hostile when the desitnation was revealed to him? Would he reject the one who gave him directions? Is this the sel-made man, or the "nuclear man" as Nouwen called it? The man who makes his own life, his own destiny, even if in doing so he is conforming to one or the other already chosen for him?

Biggest Loser Update...

I'm down 7 lbs baby. Maybe its water, maybe its fat, maybe I'm a weight loss machine!!!! Either way the scale says i'm lighter and on my way to being $90 richer! Only problem is there is a month and a half left...YIKES!

A light dawns
And the darkness cannot consume
For the seeds of righteousness
Begin to bloom
In my heart
and in my soul
Speaking in me the truth
That God is in control.

To Him be the glory in my life as well as in my death!

The Biggest Loser

For some reason I agreed to do the Biggest Loser competition with two of my coworkers. Yesterday was our first day, so we weighed in (not a pretty thing). The competition ends on May 18th, our last day of work. I figure either way, whether I win the $90.00 pot or not, I am a winner. I have a good shot. I am facing two big guys. Right now this doesn't seem like so much fun, lots of excerise, little eating, I'll keep you posted on how its going.

my selfishness hates your selfishness

I witnessed this moment on my flight yesterday that I have been putting a lot of thought into. You know that moment, I mean the very second, the plane has finished taxing up to the gate and everyone shoots up out of their chairs like their seat is on fire? They all the sudden have to get off the plane or they just might die? It never happens that you can just get off, you have to wait till they open the door, but everyone will stand up and get their stuff ready, I guess to save a few seconds. Anyway, this lady two seats up from me shot up and looked at the guy in the row accross the aisle and said, almost panicked, "Excuse me, I need to get my bag down I have a plane to catch in 30 minutes." The guy quickly complied. I then heard a lady two seats behind me say outloud, "Like none of the rest of us do." She said it to no one in particular, but really to everyone around her as if she hoped to find support in her disdain for this first lady.
I started thinking about that situation and about selfishness. The second lady was calling the first lady out on her selfishness, on the world being centered around her needs, but why did the second lady care? It had nothing to do with her, so why did it seem to affect her so? Selfishness is funny like that. If I am not concerned about my own well-being (selflessness) someone's selfishenss has no impact on me. But when another's selfishness begins to rub up against mine, that is when that "second lady" comes out. The selfishness of others is a threat to my selfishness, it rubs against it and makes me say and think things like, "As if she's the only one, I have a plane to catch to." If I wasn't selfish, or so concerned about my needs, lady one's comment would evaporate in the air. I saw more of lady two in myself than I would have liked.

Know thy self

This has been a year of realization and revelation. It has been both painful and powerful, it has been a catalyst for change in my life and in my heart, moving me to places I never thought I would go, strengthing my character, refining my faith in the fire, making me into image of Christ.
Something that has occured to me recently is that it is impossible to know yourself outside the realm of community. They say you don't know someone until you live with them, well I would take it a step further to say you don't know yourself until you live with someone. Its the eyes of other people that see you more clearly than you could ever hope to see yourself that you begin to see things that you never knew existed, both good and bad. You learn so much about yourself when you have someone who knows what you're like when you wake up, when you go to sleep, when you eat your meals, when you've had a hard day, late at night, when you cry, when you're goofy, when you're frustrated, in your every little comings and goings, when you interact with the world around you, when you interact with Jesus....this is the person who knows you better than you know you.
If you are every lucky enough to have a friend/roommate combo like this, one who deeply cares about you as a person, you will begin to learn things about yourself that you never knew existed.
I am THANKFUL for my roommate. She has taught me so much about life, Jesus and myself. She reinforces the good in me I fail to notice and she tells me when I'm being an idiot and couldn't be more clueless. I think this is the definition of community, of brotherly love. My heart is filled with gratitude.

A new way to pee your pants

So, this is both really gross and really funny, enjoy! So today Trey and I were going to go to Walmart really quick and buy a wireless router for my mom. I had some gym shorts on my floor I had worn yesterday so I put them on real quick and we went out the door. Halfway to Walmart (a 15 minute drive) I smelled something funny....then I felt something wet. Not just anything...one of my shorts legs. Yep, doggie pee. SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Trey laughed hysterically and said turn around....I was determined not to turn around, but I was severly grossed out the whole trip.; YUCKIE!!

Spring Break 07

I spent my spring break in San Antonio, Texas with 60 college students, 1 charter bus, 9 soaking wet tents and 5 days of non-stop rain. We worked with the homeless in the city. It was an amazing trip for so many different reasons. We stayed in this gorgeous camp ground called Paradise Canyon, set on the Medina River fed by natural hot springs and surrounded by a rock face canyon wall. The only problem was it started raining on our second day, flooded our tents and soaked all of stuff. So all 60 people moved into this small cabin we happened to rent out for the week on the land. I have never seen community build like I saw there, constant brushing up against people formed this amazing bond.
While we were there I started reading this book called The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. It is a autobiography of sorts of this guy is living out the Way of Jesus through his ministry to the poor. It is quite fascinated, convicting and down right disturbing. He is doing the very simple commandments in the bible in his daily life, the ones we like to idealize and never actually do, the ones we sit at Starbucks and discuss and never actually put into action. He says this about giving to charity,
"It is much more comfortable to depersonlize the poor so we don't feel responsible for the humna failure that results in someone sleeping on the street while people have spare bedorooms in thier homes. We can volunteer in a social program or distribute excess food and clothing thourh organizations and never have to open our homes, or beds, our dinner tables. I'm just not convinced Jesus is going to say, "When I was hungry you gave a check to the United Way and they fed me, or when I was naked you donated clothes to the Salvation Army and they clothed me." Jesus is not seeking distant acts of charity. He seeks concrete acts of love: "you fed me..you visted me in prison, you welcomed me into your home...you clothed me."
Very interesting...so am I, by blogging about this, being another detached Christian who loves to idealize the way of Jesus or am I seeking to change my very nature and act on what I know to be the command of Scripture?

Series of Scripture Part 2

"And the Word became FLESH, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth." John 1:14

The Word became flesh!!!!!!! Enough said! Thank you Jesus!

The odd fruit

I have recently seen this fruit everywhere, I have even eaten a few. I started thinking, "Why grapefruit?" I mean it isn't a grape, nor does it favor one in any form of fashion. It is also, not common to define a word with the word itself. Why add fruit to the end of name, isn't it obvious that is what it is?
It would be like naming a cucumber a "broccoli vegetable" instead of a cucumber and that is just absurd.
Any thoughts?

"There is nothing more ugly than an orthodoxy without understanding or without compassion."
Frances A. Schaeffer

A Series of Scripture

Chapter 1

"But in the past, when you didn't know God, you were enslaved to things that by nature are not gods. But now, since you know God, or rather have BECOME KNOWN BY GOD, how can you turn back agian to the WEAK and BANKRUPT elemental forces?"
Galatians 4:8-9

I love a few things about this passage of scripture. He is speaking to people who worship the law and refuse to leave it behind to embrace its fulfillment, the Christ. He says they are enslaved to things that are not even close to being gods. They are fully worshiping things that are lower in the creation order than they. I love Paul's description of those things, "Weak and Bankrupt." Its like he says, "These things have no power to save and no value whatsoever, in fact if you enslave yourself to them they'll take all you've got and leave you naked and lost.
Do not be overcome by the weak and bankrupt gods of your past and in this I am speaking to myself.

Growth

its been an interesting semester thus far. I have found myself nearly two months in wondering what I am doing here?....if I should be here?....what am I striving for?....Am I wasting my time? I think about Paul when he says that he doesn't beat the air aimlessly, he knew without a doubt what he wanted and what his goal was and all he did was for the purpose of that goal. Sometimes I feel like I'm beating the air, moving without thought or care, moving towards something all the while becoming nothing.
I met with the college pastor I work for this morning and I was voicing some of these things to him about my frustrations with seminary and wanting the degree, but feeling like I might be wasting my time and he said something that resonated with me. He said, "Well my reasons for going to seminary when I went were a little different. I didn't go to learn ministry, I went to grow in my faith and I got what I wanted and am all the better for it. He is a few hours shy of finishing his degree, but he has been doing ministry for a good while and he is changing lives. He is changing lives not because he went to seminary to prepare for ministry, but because he did what it took to grow in his salvation.
what if my mindset for all things in life was that....that no matter what I did it was a chance to grow in my faith. Examples: going places that make me uncomfortable, having challenging conversations. You know, even things you don't like to do. what if I approached my life that way? If I'm not getting something out of my current life its not the fault of my surroundings. Growth is not confined to circumstances, rather it is refined in circumstances.
Just some thoughts on my current place in life. There is more, so much more, but i have too much to do to share them now. Love to each of you!

It is amazing what nice weather can do for one' sense of morale!

So, more Fort Worth Randomness...
I drove by this sign yesterday of this little house that had just been turned into a beauty shop. The sign read,

"WANDO DO WONDERS beauty salon"

I'm thinking about going there to test out the slogan. You just never know!

sorry for the furlow...

I do believe that this is the longest that I have gone without writing. It makes me sad to because I love this outlet. Sorry to any of you who might have thought I fell off the face of the earth, although I sometimes feel as if that is what has happend as well. It is intersting because I feel like the last two months I have spent so much time thinking and yet not thinking at all and having nothing to post on here. Maybe its all just jumbled. I have had a harder time transitioning back into this life than I thought I would. Don't get me wrong, I love my job with the church and I love my middle schoolers (most days) and I love the things I am learning, but it all seems so fragmented, so heavy. I was at the middle school yesterday teaching my class how to cook mini pizzas and while we were waiting on them to cook I listened as they talked about all kinds of things (mostly things they should know nothing of) and I caught my self staring with my mouth open with absolutely nothing to say. I felt burnt out in that moment and kind of hopeless in that job as a ministry.
I read this this morning: Solomon is finishing up Ecclesiastes. This is the summation of all that he has learned from denying himself nothing. He says this:
"But beyond these, my son, be warned: there is no end to the making of many books, and much study wearies the body. When all has been heard,the conclusion of the matter is: fear God and keep His commands, because this is for all humanity." Ecc. 12:12-13

That really is all I want out of life...all else seems sort of like chaff that will blow away, excess baggage to be thrown off.

Its the little moments...

So, I am back to work at the Middle School. Back into the swing of working in the hood. I had the pleasure of witnessing one of those hysterical little moments that happen...ya know those little maybe 10 second humorous sights that you enjoy by yourself. I was walking down the hall and out of the bathroom comes this security guard lady (yes they have hardcore security guards there who do nothing really to make you feel secure) and I nodded. But when I did I looked down and she had LARGE sheets of toilet paper stuck to, not one, but BOTH of her shoes. She smiled and I held in my laughter and thought, "Man I'm glad I got to see that."

I then went into the bathroom and there was a sign on the wall that read...
"Please do not put paper towels in the TOLITES." -The Custodians
This got a little chuckle as well. Only at my school does the L come before the I.

Psalm 32

Quiet soul turn brittle bones
And er'e will be until we're home
Or till we purge the disease inside
The Genesis of all our sin, our pride.

Intern

So its official. I am the new college intern at Mckinney Memorial Bible Church in Forth Worth, Texas.
I have been working with their College Cru ministry on a volunteer basis for the last semester which has been great. I have formed a small group of girls and been meeting with them all semester. They are all great and have given me much joy. I am excited about what this semester is going to look like working with that ministry. I have wanted an opportunity like this for a long time and the fact that it is college ministry is perfect! To God be the glory!

The last night at home

It is here. It is my last night at home. It is my last night at home for a very long time and I must admit I am very sad. I did not think that I would be. I mean I love where I am in life. I love the world God has given me in Fort Worth. And Bishopville is dreadfully boring. I sit at home (and I mean sit cause I don't have a car, but I did walk to the dentist and the grocery store) from the time I wake up until around 6:00 at night when my mom gets home. But when I"m by myself, the time is pretty rich and when my mom gets home the time is pretty rich. I have prayed that God would push back the darkness that exists in my family and that He would use me where He saw fit to do it. He has been faithful in many ways. And I have seen His promises come true a little bit at a time.
I will be glad to go back, begin another semester, start work, continue to grow, but I will miss my home. I will miss my Mom. She is a miraculous woman.
Just as a side note, I found a very large frog in our den tonight. That type of thing doesn't happen in the city, although we have our fair share of creepy crawly things.