my dad's birthday

Today is my dad's birthday. He would have been 54 today. This time of year is hard. I think about him the most between May and July. It seems these are the months when all of the "important dates" fall. His death, Father's day, my birthday, his birthday. Each day is hard for some of the same reasons, but also different reasons. This day, I struggle with the age he would have been. Each year that ticks off the calendar I think about how young it is, about how I never would have thought my dad wouldn't ever be 50, 51, 52, etc, about how tragic it is, about how I wish I could send him a funny card. I think about a lot of things or I try not to think. Mostly, it is still hard for me to get my head around the reality. It is the most surreal of things.
Here is a picture....a very old picture of him. I stole it off my sister's blog. I don't have any electronic photos of him.