So, I am back to work at the Middle School. Back into the swing of working in the hood. I had the pleasure of witnessing one of those hysterical little moments that happen...ya know those little maybe 10 second humorous sights that you enjoy by yourself. I was walking down the hall and out of the bathroom comes this security guard lady (yes they have hardcore security guards there who do nothing really to make you feel secure) and I nodded. But when I did I looked down and she had LARGE sheets of toilet paper stuck to, not one, but BOTH of her shoes. She smiled and I held in my laughter and thought, "Man I'm glad I got to see that."
I then went into the bathroom and there was a sign on the wall that read...
"Please do not put paper towels in the TOLITES." -The Custodians
This got a little chuckle as well. Only at my school does the L come before the I.
1.20.2007
1.15.2007
Psalm 32
Quiet soul turn brittle bones
And er'e will be until we're home
Or till we purge the disease inside
The Genesis of all our sin, our pride.
And er'e will be until we're home
Or till we purge the disease inside
The Genesis of all our sin, our pride.
1.11.2007
Intern
So its official. I am the new college intern at Mckinney Memorial Bible Church in Forth Worth, Texas.
I have been working with their College Cru ministry on a volunteer basis for the last semester which has been great. I have formed a small group of girls and been meeting with them all semester. They are all great and have given me much joy. I am excited about what this semester is going to look like working with that ministry. I have wanted an opportunity like this for a long time and the fact that it is college ministry is perfect! To God be the glory!
I have been working with their College Cru ministry on a volunteer basis for the last semester which has been great. I have formed a small group of girls and been meeting with them all semester. They are all great and have given me much joy. I am excited about what this semester is going to look like working with that ministry. I have wanted an opportunity like this for a long time and the fact that it is college ministry is perfect! To God be the glory!
1.05.2007
The last night at home
It is here. It is my last night at home. It is my last night at home for a very long time and I must admit I am very sad. I did not think that I would be. I mean I love where I am in life. I love the world God has given me in Fort Worth. And Bishopville is dreadfully boring. I sit at home (and I mean sit cause I don't have a car, but I did walk to the dentist and the grocery store) from the time I wake up until around 6:00 at night when my mom gets home. But when I"m by myself, the time is pretty rich and when my mom gets home the time is pretty rich. I have prayed that God would push back the darkness that exists in my family and that He would use me where He saw fit to do it. He has been faithful in many ways. And I have seen His promises come true a little bit at a time.
I will be glad to go back, begin another semester, start work, continue to grow, but I will miss my home. I will miss my Mom. She is a miraculous woman.
Just as a side note, I found a very large frog in our den tonight. That type of thing doesn't happen in the city, although we have our fair share of creepy crawly things.
I will be glad to go back, begin another semester, start work, continue to grow, but I will miss my home. I will miss my Mom. She is a miraculous woman.
Just as a side note, I found a very large frog in our den tonight. That type of thing doesn't happen in the city, although we have our fair share of creepy crawly things.
1.04.2007
I was talking with Trey over the holidays about giving things up as a practice for discipline. We were brainstorming about things we could give up for 6 months. I found this article online today. A very interesting read. Check it out if you get a chance. Shopping Sabbatical
1.01.2007
The Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards
I was looking today for a particular quote from Jonathan Edwards about a resolution he made towards his own death. Instead I found his document of 70 life resolutions. I am still pouring over the first few. These are deep and they are challenging. When all I can come up with is "eat better" these make me ashamed that I have so small a vision for the next 365 days. Read thoughtfully and enjoy!
BEING SENSIBLE THAT I AM UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING WITHOUT GOD' S HELP, I DO HUMBLY ENTREAT HIM BY HIS GRACE TO ENABLE ME TO KEEP THESE RESOLUTIONS, SO FAR AS THEY ARE AGREEABLE TO HIS WILL, FOR CHRIST' S SAKE.
Remember to read over these Resolutions once a week.
1. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God' s glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriads of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many soever, and how great soever.
2. Resolved, to be continually endeavoring to find out some new contrivance and invention to promote the aforementioned things.
3. Resolved, if ever I shall fall and grow dull, so as to neglect to keep any part of these Resolutions, to repent of all I can remember, when I come to myself again.
4. Resolved, never to do any manner of thing, whether in soul or body, less or more, but what tends to the glory of God; nor be, nor suffer it, if I can avoid it.
5. Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.
6. Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live.
7. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life.
8. Resolved, to act, in all respects, both speaking and doing, as if nobody had been so vile as I, and as if I had committed the same sins, or had the same infirmities or failings as others; and that I will let the knowledge of their failings promote nothing but shame in myself, and prove only an occasion of my confessing my own sins and misery to God. July 30.
9. Resolved, to think much on all occasions of my own dying, and of the common circumstances which attend death.
10. Resolved, when I feel pain, to think of the pains of martyrdom, and of hell.
11. Resolved, when I think of any theorem in divinity to be solved, immediately to do what I can towards solving it, if circumstances do not hinder.
12. Resolved, if I take delight in it as a gratification of pride, or vanity, or on any such account, immediately to throw it by.
13. Resolved, to be endeavoring to find out fit objects of charity and liberality.
14. Resolved, never to do any thing out of revenge.
15. Resolved, never to suffer the least motions of anger towards irrational beings.
16. Resolved, never to speak evil of anyone, so that it shall tend to his dishonor, more or less, upon no account except for some real good.
17. Resolved, that I will live so, as I shall wish I had done when I come to die.
18. Resolved, to live so, at all times, as I think is best in my devout frames, and when I have clearest notions of things of the gospel, and another world.
19. Resolved, never to do any thing, which I should be afraid to do, if I expected it would not be above an hour, before I should hear the last trump.
20. Resolved, to maintain the strictest temperance, in eating and drinking.
21. Resolved, never to do any thing, which if I should see in another, I should count a just occasion to despise him for, or to think any way the more meanly of him. (Resolutions 1 through 21 written in one setting in New Haven in 1722)
22. Resolved, to endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness, in the other world, as I possibly can, with all the power, might, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way that can be thought of.
23. Resolved, frequently to take some deliberate action, which seems most unlikely to be done, for the glory of God, and trace it back to the original intention, designs and ends of it; and if I find it not to be for God' s glory, to repute it as a breach of the 4th Resolution.
24. Resolved, whenever I do any conspicuously evil action, to trace it back, till I come to the original cause; and then, both carefully endeavor to do so no more, and to fight and pray with all my might against the original of it.
25. Resolved, to examine carefully, and constantly, what that one thing in me is, which causes me in the least to doubt of the love of God; and to direct all my forces against it.
26. Resolved, to cast away such things, as I find do abate my assurance.
27. Resolved, never willfully to omit any thing, except the omission be for the glory of God; and frequently to examine my omissions.
28. Resolved, to study the Scriptures so steadily, constantly and frequently, as that I may find, and plainly perceive myself to grow in the knowledge of the same.
29. Resolved, never to count that a prayer, nor to let that pass as a prayer, nor that as a petition of a prayer, which is so made, that I cannot hope that God will answer it; nor that as a confession, which I cannot hope God will accept.
30. Resolved, to strive to my utmost every week to be brought higher in religion, and to a higher exercise of grace, than I was the week before.
31. Resolved, never to say any thing at all against any body, but when it is perfectly agreeable to the highest degree of Christian honor, and of love to mankind, agreeable to the lowest humility, and sense of my own faults and failings, and agreeable to the golden rule; often, when I have said anything against anyone, to bring it to, and try it strictly by the test of this Resolution.
32. Resolved, to be strictly and firmly faithful to my trust, that that, in Proverbs 20:6,‹A faithful man who can find?Š may not be partly fulfilled in me.
33. Resolved, to do always, what I can towards making, maintaining, and preserving peace, when it can be done without overbalancing detriment in other respects. Dec. 26, 1722.
34. Resolved, in narrations never to speak any thing but the pure and simple verity.
35. Resolved, whenever I so much question whether I have done my duty, as that my quiet and calm is thereby disturbed, to set it down, and also how the question was resolved. Dec. 18, 1722.
36. Resolved, never to speak evil of any, except I have some particular good call for it. Dec. 19, 1722.
37. Resolved, to inquire every night, as I am going to bed, wherein I have been negligent,- what sin I have committed,-and wherein I have denied myself;-also at the end of every week, month and year. Dec. 22 and 26, 1722.
38. Resolved, never to speak anything that is ridiculous, sportive, or matter of laughter on the Lord' s day. Sabbath evening, Dec. 23, 1722.
39. Resolved, never to do any thing of which I so much question the lawfulness of, as that I intend, at the same time, to consider and examine afterwards, whether it be lawful or not; unless I as much question the lawfulness of the omission.
40. Resolved, to inquire every night, before I go to bed, whether I have acted in the best way I possibly could, with respect to eating and drinking. Jan. 7, 1723.
41. Resolved, to ask myself, at the end of every day, week, month and year, wherein I could possibly, in any respect, have done better. Jan. 11, 1723.
42. Resolved, frequently to renew the dedication of myself to God, which was made at my baptism; which I solemnly renewed, when I was received into the communion of the church; and which I have solemnly re-made this twelfth day of January, 1722-23.
43. Resolved, never, henceforward, till I die, to act as if I were any way my own, but entirely and altogether God' s; agreeable to what is to be found in Saturday, January 12, 1723.
44. Resolved, that no other end but religion, shall have any influence at all on any of my actions; and that no action shall be, in the least circumstance, any otherwise than the religious end will carry it. January 12, 1723.
45. Resolved, never to allow any pleasure or grief, joy or sorrow, nor any affection at all, nor any degree of affection, nor any circumstance relating to it, but what helps religion. Jan. 12 and 13, 1723.
46. Resolved, never to allow the least measure of any fretting uneasiness at my father or mother. Resolved to suffer no effects of it, so much as in the least alteration of speech, or motion of my eye: and to be especially careful of it with respect to any of our family.
47. Resolved, to endeavor, to my utmost, to deny whatever is not most agreeable to a good, and universally sweet and benevolent, quiet, peaceable, contented and easy, compassionate and generous, humble and meek, submissive and obliging, diligent and industrious, charitable and even, patient, moderate, forgiving and sincere temper; and to do at all times, what such a temper would lead me to; and to examine strictly, at the end of every week, whether I have done so. Sabbath morning. May 5, 1723.
48. Resolved, constantly, with the utmost niceness and diligence, and the strictest scrutiny, to be looking into the state of my soul, that I may know whether I have truly an interest in Christ or not; that when I come to die, I may not have any negligence respecting this to repent of. May 26, 1723.
49. Resolved, that this never shall be, if I can help it.
50. Resolved, I will act so as I think I shall judge would have been best, and most prudent, when I come into the future world. July 5, 1723.
51. Resolved, that I will act so, in every respect, as I think I shall wish I had done, if I should at last be damned. July 8, 1723.
52. I frequently hear persons in old age, say how they would live, if they were to live their lives over again: Resolved, that I will live just so as I can think I shall wish I had done, supposing I live to old age. July 8, 1723.
53. Resolved, to improve every opportunity, when I am in the best and happiest frame of mind, to cast and venture my soul on the Lord Jesus Christ, to trust and confide in him, and consecrate myself wholly to him; that from this I may have assurance of my safety, knowing that I confide in my Redeemer. July 8, 1723.
54. Whenever I hear anything spoken in conversation of any person, if I think it would be praiseworthy in me, Resolved to endeavor to imitate it. July 8, 1723.
55. Resolved, to endeavor to my utmost to act as I can think I should do, if, I had already seen the happiness of heaven, and hell torments. July 8, 1723.
56. Resolved, never to give over, nor in the least to slacken, my fight with my corruptions, however unsuccessful I may be.
57. Resolved, when I fear misfortunes and adversities, to examine whether I have done my duty, and resolve to do it, and let the event be just as providence orders it. I will as far as I can, be concerned about nothing but my duty, and my sin. June 9, and July 13 1723.
58. Resolved, not only to refrain from an air of dislike, fretfulness, and anger in conversation, but to exhibit an air of love, cheerfulness and benignity. May 27, and July 13, 1723.
59. Resolved, when I am most conscious of provocations to ill nature and anger, that I will strive most to feel and act good-naturedly; yea, at such times, to manifest good nature, though I think that in other respects it would be disadvantageous, and so as would be imprudent at other times. May 12, July 11, and July 13.
60. Resolved, whenever my feelings begin to appear in the least out of order, when I am conscious of the least uneasiness within, or the least irregularity without, I will then subject myself to the strictest examination. July 4, and 13, 1723.
61. Resolved, that I will not give way to that listlessness which I find unbends and relaxes my mind from being fully and fixedly set on religion, whatever excuse I may have for it-that what my listlessness inclines me to do, is best to be done, etc. May 21, and July 13, 1723.
62. Resolved, never to do anything but duty, and then according to Ephesians 6:6-8, to do it willingly and cheerfully as unto the Lord, and not to man:‹knowing that whatever good thing any man doth, the same shall he receive of the Lord.Š June 25 and July 13, 1723.
63. On the supposition, that there never was to be but one individual in the world, at any one time, who was properly a complete Christian, in all respects of a right stamp, having Christianity always shining in its true luster, and appearing excellent and lovely, from whatever part and under whatever character viewed: Resolved, to act just as I would do, if I strove with all my might to be that one, who should live in my time. January 14 and July 13, 1723.
64. Resolved, when I find those ‹groanings which cannot be utteredŠ (Romans 8:26), of which the Apostle speaks, and those‹breakings of soul for the longing it hath,Š of which the Psalmist speaks, Psalm 119:20, that I will promote them to the utmost of my power, and that I will not be weary of earnestly endeavoring to vent my desires, nor of the repetitions of such earnestness. July 23, and August 10, 1723.
65. Resolved, very much to exercise myself in this, all my life long, viz. with the greatest openness, of which I am capable of, to declare my ways to God, and lay open my soul to him: all my sins, temptations, difficulties, sorrows, fears, hopes, desires, and every thing, and every circumstance; according to Dr. Manton' s 27th Sermon on Psalm 119. July 26, and Aug.10 1723.
66. Resolved, that I will endeavor always to keep a benign aspect, and air of acting and speaking in all places, and in all companies, except it should so happen that duty requires otherwise.
67. Resolved, after afflictions, to inquire, what I am the better for them, what am I the better for them, and what I might have got by them.
68. Resolved, to confess frankly to myself all that which I find in myself, either infirmity or sin; and, if it be what concerns religion, also to confess the whole case to God, and implore needed help. July 23, and August 10, 1723.
69. Resolved, always to do that, which I shall wish I had done when I see others do it. August 11, 1723.
70. Let there be something of benevolence, in all that I speak. August 17, 1723.
THE RESOLUTIONS
of
Jonathan Edwards
of
Jonathan Edwards
BEING SENSIBLE THAT I AM UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING WITHOUT GOD' S HELP, I DO HUMBLY ENTREAT HIM BY HIS GRACE TO ENABLE ME TO KEEP THESE RESOLUTIONS, SO FAR AS THEY ARE AGREEABLE TO HIS WILL, FOR CHRIST' S SAKE.
Remember to read over these Resolutions once a week.
1. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God' s glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriads of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many soever, and how great soever.
2. Resolved, to be continually endeavoring to find out some new contrivance and invention to promote the aforementioned things.
3. Resolved, if ever I shall fall and grow dull, so as to neglect to keep any part of these Resolutions, to repent of all I can remember, when I come to myself again.
4. Resolved, never to do any manner of thing, whether in soul or body, less or more, but what tends to the glory of God; nor be, nor suffer it, if I can avoid it.
5. Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.
6. Resolved, to live with all my might, while I do live.
7. Resolved, never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life.
8. Resolved, to act, in all respects, both speaking and doing, as if nobody had been so vile as I, and as if I had committed the same sins, or had the same infirmities or failings as others; and that I will let the knowledge of their failings promote nothing but shame in myself, and prove only an occasion of my confessing my own sins and misery to God. July 30.
9. Resolved, to think much on all occasions of my own dying, and of the common circumstances which attend death.
10. Resolved, when I feel pain, to think of the pains of martyrdom, and of hell.
11. Resolved, when I think of any theorem in divinity to be solved, immediately to do what I can towards solving it, if circumstances do not hinder.
12. Resolved, if I take delight in it as a gratification of pride, or vanity, or on any such account, immediately to throw it by.
13. Resolved, to be endeavoring to find out fit objects of charity and liberality.
14. Resolved, never to do any thing out of revenge.
15. Resolved, never to suffer the least motions of anger towards irrational beings.
16. Resolved, never to speak evil of anyone, so that it shall tend to his dishonor, more or less, upon no account except for some real good.
17. Resolved, that I will live so, as I shall wish I had done when I come to die.
18. Resolved, to live so, at all times, as I think is best in my devout frames, and when I have clearest notions of things of the gospel, and another world.
19. Resolved, never to do any thing, which I should be afraid to do, if I expected it would not be above an hour, before I should hear the last trump.
20. Resolved, to maintain the strictest temperance, in eating and drinking.
21. Resolved, never to do any thing, which if I should see in another, I should count a just occasion to despise him for, or to think any way the more meanly of him. (Resolutions 1 through 21 written in one setting in New Haven in 1722)
22. Resolved, to endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness, in the other world, as I possibly can, with all the power, might, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way that can be thought of.
23. Resolved, frequently to take some deliberate action, which seems most unlikely to be done, for the glory of God, and trace it back to the original intention, designs and ends of it; and if I find it not to be for God' s glory, to repute it as a breach of the 4th Resolution.
24. Resolved, whenever I do any conspicuously evil action, to trace it back, till I come to the original cause; and then, both carefully endeavor to do so no more, and to fight and pray with all my might against the original of it.
25. Resolved, to examine carefully, and constantly, what that one thing in me is, which causes me in the least to doubt of the love of God; and to direct all my forces against it.
26. Resolved, to cast away such things, as I find do abate my assurance.
27. Resolved, never willfully to omit any thing, except the omission be for the glory of God; and frequently to examine my omissions.
28. Resolved, to study the Scriptures so steadily, constantly and frequently, as that I may find, and plainly perceive myself to grow in the knowledge of the same.
29. Resolved, never to count that a prayer, nor to let that pass as a prayer, nor that as a petition of a prayer, which is so made, that I cannot hope that God will answer it; nor that as a confession, which I cannot hope God will accept.
30. Resolved, to strive to my utmost every week to be brought higher in religion, and to a higher exercise of grace, than I was the week before.
31. Resolved, never to say any thing at all against any body, but when it is perfectly agreeable to the highest degree of Christian honor, and of love to mankind, agreeable to the lowest humility, and sense of my own faults and failings, and agreeable to the golden rule; often, when I have said anything against anyone, to bring it to, and try it strictly by the test of this Resolution.
32. Resolved, to be strictly and firmly faithful to my trust, that that, in Proverbs 20:6,‹A faithful man who can find?Š may not be partly fulfilled in me.
33. Resolved, to do always, what I can towards making, maintaining, and preserving peace, when it can be done without overbalancing detriment in other respects. Dec. 26, 1722.
34. Resolved, in narrations never to speak any thing but the pure and simple verity.
35. Resolved, whenever I so much question whether I have done my duty, as that my quiet and calm is thereby disturbed, to set it down, and also how the question was resolved. Dec. 18, 1722.
36. Resolved, never to speak evil of any, except I have some particular good call for it. Dec. 19, 1722.
37. Resolved, to inquire every night, as I am going to bed, wherein I have been negligent,- what sin I have committed,-and wherein I have denied myself;-also at the end of every week, month and year. Dec. 22 and 26, 1722.
38. Resolved, never to speak anything that is ridiculous, sportive, or matter of laughter on the Lord' s day. Sabbath evening, Dec. 23, 1722.
39. Resolved, never to do any thing of which I so much question the lawfulness of, as that I intend, at the same time, to consider and examine afterwards, whether it be lawful or not; unless I as much question the lawfulness of the omission.
40. Resolved, to inquire every night, before I go to bed, whether I have acted in the best way I possibly could, with respect to eating and drinking. Jan. 7, 1723.
41. Resolved, to ask myself, at the end of every day, week, month and year, wherein I could possibly, in any respect, have done better. Jan. 11, 1723.
42. Resolved, frequently to renew the dedication of myself to God, which was made at my baptism; which I solemnly renewed, when I was received into the communion of the church; and which I have solemnly re-made this twelfth day of January, 1722-23.
43. Resolved, never, henceforward, till I die, to act as if I were any way my own, but entirely and altogether God' s; agreeable to what is to be found in Saturday, January 12, 1723.
44. Resolved, that no other end but religion, shall have any influence at all on any of my actions; and that no action shall be, in the least circumstance, any otherwise than the religious end will carry it. January 12, 1723.
45. Resolved, never to allow any pleasure or grief, joy or sorrow, nor any affection at all, nor any degree of affection, nor any circumstance relating to it, but what helps religion. Jan. 12 and 13, 1723.
46. Resolved, never to allow the least measure of any fretting uneasiness at my father or mother. Resolved to suffer no effects of it, so much as in the least alteration of speech, or motion of my eye: and to be especially careful of it with respect to any of our family.
47. Resolved, to endeavor, to my utmost, to deny whatever is not most agreeable to a good, and universally sweet and benevolent, quiet, peaceable, contented and easy, compassionate and generous, humble and meek, submissive and obliging, diligent and industrious, charitable and even, patient, moderate, forgiving and sincere temper; and to do at all times, what such a temper would lead me to; and to examine strictly, at the end of every week, whether I have done so. Sabbath morning. May 5, 1723.
48. Resolved, constantly, with the utmost niceness and diligence, and the strictest scrutiny, to be looking into the state of my soul, that I may know whether I have truly an interest in Christ or not; that when I come to die, I may not have any negligence respecting this to repent of. May 26, 1723.
49. Resolved, that this never shall be, if I can help it.
50. Resolved, I will act so as I think I shall judge would have been best, and most prudent, when I come into the future world. July 5, 1723.
51. Resolved, that I will act so, in every respect, as I think I shall wish I had done, if I should at last be damned. July 8, 1723.
52. I frequently hear persons in old age, say how they would live, if they were to live their lives over again: Resolved, that I will live just so as I can think I shall wish I had done, supposing I live to old age. July 8, 1723.
53. Resolved, to improve every opportunity, when I am in the best and happiest frame of mind, to cast and venture my soul on the Lord Jesus Christ, to trust and confide in him, and consecrate myself wholly to him; that from this I may have assurance of my safety, knowing that I confide in my Redeemer. July 8, 1723.
54. Whenever I hear anything spoken in conversation of any person, if I think it would be praiseworthy in me, Resolved to endeavor to imitate it. July 8, 1723.
55. Resolved, to endeavor to my utmost to act as I can think I should do, if, I had already seen the happiness of heaven, and hell torments. July 8, 1723.
56. Resolved, never to give over, nor in the least to slacken, my fight with my corruptions, however unsuccessful I may be.
57. Resolved, when I fear misfortunes and adversities, to examine whether I have done my duty, and resolve to do it, and let the event be just as providence orders it. I will as far as I can, be concerned about nothing but my duty, and my sin. June 9, and July 13 1723.
58. Resolved, not only to refrain from an air of dislike, fretfulness, and anger in conversation, but to exhibit an air of love, cheerfulness and benignity. May 27, and July 13, 1723.
59. Resolved, when I am most conscious of provocations to ill nature and anger, that I will strive most to feel and act good-naturedly; yea, at such times, to manifest good nature, though I think that in other respects it would be disadvantageous, and so as would be imprudent at other times. May 12, July 11, and July 13.
60. Resolved, whenever my feelings begin to appear in the least out of order, when I am conscious of the least uneasiness within, or the least irregularity without, I will then subject myself to the strictest examination. July 4, and 13, 1723.
61. Resolved, that I will not give way to that listlessness which I find unbends and relaxes my mind from being fully and fixedly set on religion, whatever excuse I may have for it-that what my listlessness inclines me to do, is best to be done, etc. May 21, and July 13, 1723.
62. Resolved, never to do anything but duty, and then according to Ephesians 6:6-8, to do it willingly and cheerfully as unto the Lord, and not to man:‹knowing that whatever good thing any man doth, the same shall he receive of the Lord.Š June 25 and July 13, 1723.
63. On the supposition, that there never was to be but one individual in the world, at any one time, who was properly a complete Christian, in all respects of a right stamp, having Christianity always shining in its true luster, and appearing excellent and lovely, from whatever part and under whatever character viewed: Resolved, to act just as I would do, if I strove with all my might to be that one, who should live in my time. January 14 and July 13, 1723.
64. Resolved, when I find those ‹groanings which cannot be utteredŠ (Romans 8:26), of which the Apostle speaks, and those‹breakings of soul for the longing it hath,Š of which the Psalmist speaks, Psalm 119:20, that I will promote them to the utmost of my power, and that I will not be weary of earnestly endeavoring to vent my desires, nor of the repetitions of such earnestness. July 23, and August 10, 1723.
65. Resolved, very much to exercise myself in this, all my life long, viz. with the greatest openness, of which I am capable of, to declare my ways to God, and lay open my soul to him: all my sins, temptations, difficulties, sorrows, fears, hopes, desires, and every thing, and every circumstance; according to Dr. Manton' s 27th Sermon on Psalm 119. July 26, and Aug.10 1723.
66. Resolved, that I will endeavor always to keep a benign aspect, and air of acting and speaking in all places, and in all companies, except it should so happen that duty requires otherwise.
67. Resolved, after afflictions, to inquire, what I am the better for them, what am I the better for them, and what I might have got by them.
68. Resolved, to confess frankly to myself all that which I find in myself, either infirmity or sin; and, if it be what concerns religion, also to confess the whole case to God, and implore needed help. July 23, and August 10, 1723.
69. Resolved, always to do that, which I shall wish I had done when I see others do it. August 11, 1723.
70. Let there be something of benevolence, in all that I speak. August 17, 1723.
12.30.2006
Trophies
The bible speaks quite point blank on the issue of empty pursuit and how it became the main focal point of all humanity at the fall of man, where we exchanged the Creator for created things. It is no secret that we are in love with the things of the earth. Simply drive through the area of Suburban Atlanta and you will see the amassing of earthly treasure in the form of the biggest houses, if they can be called that, I have ever seen. As a human race we live like this is it man, "Get yours while you can cause this is as good as it gets."
Why the soapbox on earthly treasure you may ask? I got interested in it today when my mom and I began cleaning out our attic. An hour turned into a few hours and by the end of it we had taken an entire truck load of junk to the Salvation army and another load to the dump. I sat up there going through "stuff" (I mean if its in the attic, where I never get stuff down do I really need it?) and I just had to laugh. There was a box full of trophies that caught my attention and all I could hear was the scripture in my head...
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal."
Matthew 6:19
These trophies were my dad's and some of my brother's from little league. They were just collecting dust in an attic. I have this line of trophies on my shelf and this other line hanging on my wall from high school athletics and academics and I remember how proud I was of getting them and how good it made me feel about myself. I had worked hard and someone had noticed. They mattered so much at the time. I realized today how futile that is. My trophies, like my father's, will one day be looked at in an old dusty attic and tossed out.
King Solomon talks about this the most when he sets out to do this experiment under the sun. Much can be learned from his toil documented in Ecclesiastes. Why do we fill our lives with useless trinkets?
Why the soapbox on earthly treasure you may ask? I got interested in it today when my mom and I began cleaning out our attic. An hour turned into a few hours and by the end of it we had taken an entire truck load of junk to the Salvation army and another load to the dump. I sat up there going through "stuff" (I mean if its in the attic, where I never get stuff down do I really need it?) and I just had to laugh. There was a box full of trophies that caught my attention and all I could hear was the scripture in my head...
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal."
Matthew 6:19
These trophies were my dad's and some of my brother's from little league. They were just collecting dust in an attic. I have this line of trophies on my shelf and this other line hanging on my wall from high school athletics and academics and I remember how proud I was of getting them and how good it made me feel about myself. I had worked hard and someone had noticed. They mattered so much at the time. I realized today how futile that is. My trophies, like my father's, will one day be looked at in an old dusty attic and tossed out.
King Solomon talks about this the most when he sets out to do this experiment under the sun. Much can be learned from his toil documented in Ecclesiastes. Why do we fill our lives with useless trinkets?
12.29.2006
My good friend David Baker got married tonight. This time last year we were in Europe together, freezing our badonkers off and teasing him because he had liked Sara forever and just started dating her the day we left. We were gone for a month. They dated for around 7 months, got engaged in August and married tonight. It never ceases to amaze me how fast things change.
I sat at a table tonight with 3 married couples, all good friends of mine from college. Most of the time I think very little about the idea of marriage and simply enjoy my independence. It is moments like tonight that make me excited about one day being married. Its about stability, having a number one, being somebody's number one...who doesn't want that in their life? We were designed for it, meant for it and because of that we crave it. One day. Who knows who it will be.
I sat at a table tonight with 3 married couples, all good friends of mine from college. Most of the time I think very little about the idea of marriage and simply enjoy my independence. It is moments like tonight that make me excited about one day being married. Its about stability, having a number one, being somebody's number one...who doesn't want that in their life? We were designed for it, meant for it and because of that we crave it. One day. Who knows who it will be.
12.24.2006
Oh Holy Night
Sometimes I become discouraged when I survey the world and all I can see seems to be the negative, the sad, the overwhelming feeling that something has gone terribly wrong and that Christianity is becoming more and more scarce. The month leading up to Christmas is a good example of this. But other times, times like tonight, Christmas Eve, when houses are lit up and driveways are filled with cars and people are laughing and catching up and giving gifts (some wanted...some that will be regiven or returned) it occurs to me the great impact that the birth of Jesus has made on the world. I know that many things about Christmas have evolved to a point where Christ isn't even a thought, but the simple fact that this holiday exists, where much of the world stops to celebrate the greatest gift humanity has ever been given, blows my mind. The coming of Jesus to earth has impacted us all more than most of us even realize. He is woven into the very fabric of the universe.
Praise God for the giving of His only Son, so that we have confidence that He has already defeated the darkness, even if the darkness is sometimes still a very real reality!
Praise God for the giving of His only Son, so that we have confidence that He has already defeated the darkness, even if the darkness is sometimes still a very real reality!
12.21.2006
I discovered something today that would make Christmas time a little more jolly...Christmastree stands that were not impossible to use! I know that the simple solution is a fake tree and yes, we have one of those. But really, how hard can it be to make a stand that holds a tree without an hour worth of fighting, an electric saw and a pile of fallen needles.
12.18.2006
12.17.2006
One Semester Down
There are these strong points of reflection at different times of the year that almost bid you to stop and survey all that has happened. I have finished my first semester at Southwestern Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas...Unbelievable. Who would ever thought I would have been in Fort Worth, Texas at Southwestern Seminary?...Some people still do not know that is where I am. I never would have dreamed that is where I would be and yet I cannot imagine myself anywhere else. It amazes me that the place I didn't want to be has become the only place I want to be (for now at least) and I was so close to being somewhere else. I could spend days writing about all the things I have learned since I have been there and all the things I am thankful for about being there. I will only list a few...
*I am thankful for the school; one of the few institutions left that believes the inerrancy of Scripture
*I am thankful for my roommate; a gift that was just handed to me and has been such a blessing
*I am thankful for my friends; a random assortment of people who really love Jesus
*I have learned so much about myself; the good, bad and ugly
*I have learned so much about life and the truth of life in Jesus
*I am thankful for my ministry; both with my middle school job and my college-intern job
*I am thankful for the life that God is waking up inside of me
For now I am glad to be home...sitting in my den in South Carolina with my dogs and my sleeping Mom.
*I am thankful for the school; one of the few institutions left that believes the inerrancy of Scripture
*I am thankful for my roommate; a gift that was just handed to me and has been such a blessing
*I am thankful for my friends; a random assortment of people who really love Jesus
*I have learned so much about myself; the good, bad and ugly
*I have learned so much about life and the truth of life in Jesus
*I am thankful for my ministry; both with my middle school job and my college-intern job
*I am thankful for the life that God is waking up inside of me
For now I am glad to be home...sitting in my den in South Carolina with my dogs and my sleeping Mom.
12.14.2006
Peace
calmer than the sky
far away so blue
land of living God
grant your peace on earth
we can feel you move
and cannot stay the same
the winds are blowing strong
God of heaven come
(chorus:)
breathe peace
breathe your peace on us
so we might breathe you deep
breathe peace
breathe your peace on us
land of the living God
if we are in the way
move us to the side
God forgive our wrongs
rest your hands on us
all the world is yours
let us not forget
it was you who bore the cross
God of comfort breathe
(chorus) - Robbie Seay Band
far away so blue
land of living God
grant your peace on earth
we can feel you move
and cannot stay the same
the winds are blowing strong
God of heaven come
(chorus:)
breathe peace
breathe your peace on us
so we might breathe you deep
breathe peace
breathe your peace on us
land of the living God
if we are in the way
move us to the side
God forgive our wrongs
rest your hands on us
all the world is yours
let us not forget
it was you who bore the cross
God of comfort breathe
(chorus) - Robbie Seay Band
12.11.2006
The Tipping Point
I have a new must read recommendation. I'm not even kiddint. It's called The Tipping Point. It is a book by a guy named Malcolm Gladwell who has studied the idea of trends and social epedimics. This book is unbelievable! But if you read it, do not simply apply the principles to the business world, the ideas in this book reach far beyond that. Find yourself using these principles in the context of the church or a ministry. Man, such a great book!
12.10.2006
Neat Christian boys
I was listening to another Matt Chandler sermon today and so many times he just slips in a little word about something and it will penetrate so deep. He was making a little aside that had little to do with the bulk of his sermon, but he began addressing the single ladies in the crowd about the massive influence that their future husbands would have on their children's spiritual life. And he urged us to be patient and then said this, "There are a lot of 'neat' Christian boys out there, but so few godly men." And I thought man, that is so true, but it is true for girls as well. Christian culture has its own "cool" sect that operates under the same rules as the world. There are loads of "neat, trendy, hip, attractive, Christian guys" who haven't the first thought of what it means to be a man of God. They don't pray. They don't seek. They don't study. They don't do all things or much of anything to the glory of God. They don't stand for what is right and lead with no compromise. They don't impact the world around them. They don't love unconditionally and serve those in need. They strut around with the trendy covered bible and band boy t-shirts.
Now before you think I am simply bashing the male species let me say that when I heard this truth in the sermon I immediately thought, "Lord, do not let me be simply a neat Christian girl! I want to be a godly woman!" Let what defines me be a heart consumed by the love of Jesus and a life marked by obedience to the Holy Spirit!
Now before you think I am simply bashing the male species let me say that when I heard this truth in the sermon I immediately thought, "Lord, do not let me be simply a neat Christian girl! I want to be a godly woman!" Let what defines me be a heart consumed by the love of Jesus and a life marked by obedience to the Holy Spirit!
12.03.2006
There is an incredible church near Ft. Worth named the Village with an incredible pastor named Matt Chandler. I cannot begin to explain the impact that his preaching has made on me. I literlly listened to 15 of his sermons (which are long, normally about 45 mintues at least) over Thanksgiving. He made this statement recently and it has stayed in the forefront of my mind...
"The distance between all that you hate and all that you are, is smaller than anyone wants to admit."
Unbelievable~ and so so true!
"The distance between all that you hate and all that you are, is smaller than anyone wants to admit."
Unbelievable~ and so so true!
1 Corinthians 15
50 I declare to you, brothers, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. 51Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— 52in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. 53For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. 54When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."
55"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?" 56The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
55"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?" 56The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
11.30.2006
Its snowing!
Yesterday it was 80 degrees outside and today its snowing....yep folks that white stuff is snow! No school or work....yipee!
This is a tri-plex.....my tri-plex
11.25.2006
Sad day to be a Tiger...
Its a sad day for Tiger fans everywhere. Oh well... I spent quality time with some of this world's greatest people and at the end of the day thats all that really matters anway. Football is (if you really think about it) a ridiculous man made thing anyway.
11.23.2006
Happy Thanksgiving
Some things I am thankful for.
1. Life...it is hard, but its worth the breathing
2. Salvation through Jesus Christ
3. My family
4. Education- Clemson University- my favorite place on earth; SWBTS- You have been a blessing
5. Health- I realize this is out of my hands; I take this for granted often
6. God's hand of protection on my life in every way
7. Friendships- those relationships that make you feel like you're home
8. The Written Word of God leading, teacthing and rebuking me for my guidance and His glory
The list is endless...
1. Life...it is hard, but its worth the breathing
2. Salvation through Jesus Christ
3. My family
4. Education- Clemson University- my favorite place on earth; SWBTS- You have been a blessing
5. Health- I realize this is out of my hands; I take this for granted often
6. God's hand of protection on my life in every way
7. Friendships- those relationships that make you feel like you're home
8. The Written Word of God leading, teacthing and rebuking me for my guidance and His glory
The list is endless...
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