Medula Oblingatas

The other day at Litchfield beach I saw this sign posted by the pond at the condominums:
"Do not FEED or MOLEST alligators!"

I shared this sighting with a friend and he replied, "Who would feed alligators?" Fair question, but I have two better ones; 1. Who the flip would molest them? and 2. Surely there is a better word to use than molest? (some of you may have noticed this second one wasn't a question)

Today I was driving to Columbia and I saw a tiny little car, (for visual purposes lets say an old Corolla) and tied to the top was a giant inflatable alligator like the ones you buy at the beach. Now this is the interstate and speeds are fast so the thing is folded up like an "L" and all you see is the front half straight up in the air. I almost wet myself laughing so hard. A. Why didn't they think to deflate it? B. Thats just freakin hillarious

Note to Self: Attach a giant inflatable creature to your car once a month and cruise around town, when given funny looks simply stick your hand out the window in a wave that indicates you know, they know you're the stuff.